What does it mean to be "good enough?" Let's look at what Byron Katie has to say about looking for acceptance.
To be honest, I'm on the fence about Byron Katie and her techniques.The way she gets to the conclusion doesn't sit well with my mind. I can't deny she's got some good material, though, and it's worth looking into despite my discomfort.
That Doesn't Make Sense
Well, if you're the kind of person that wants to agree with a process completely and have everything feel good, then Byron Katie may not be for you. I prefer to look past that, because all growth is painful. That's why they call them 'growing pains,' because it takes effort, stretching, and stepping out of your comfort zone.
The more I watch her videos and read her various publications, the more holes I see where those unfamiliar with a self-aware path could easily fall through. I don't think she does it on purpose; she's just not at the beginning anymore. It's difficult to remember the experience of learning to walk and talk once you're an adult. The memories of that struggle get compressed, and certain aspects aren't as vivid over time.
Despite that, there's still some good stuff to be had from her. To paraphrase what she says on her site, don't take her words or view as gospel - consider it, and question everything.
The book above, I Need Your Love - Is It True?, directly tackles the compulsion for gaining love and approval from others. She examines the habit at the source of feeling 'not good enough,' and gives advice on how to find what you're looking for without losing yourself.
However, confronting the feeling itself is more immediately available through her videos. This one discusses the 'cost of seeking approval,' while this one shares some perspective on comparing one's self to others. Both have interesting views and profound revelations that may help you overcome the problem - or even find peace while witnessing the mental behavior.
I particularly enjoyedthis Byron Katie video about 'living up to your full potential.' Realizing what you want and need aren't the same as what you believe them to be is a crucial element in finding happiness. If you can't be true to yourself, not only will you be miserable but you also run the risk of believing things that may not even be true.
I'm a firm believer of therapy, and also respect our ability to help ourselves. Sometimes you can reason away damaging beliefs; other times it requires a professional 'nudge' to repair. If you're not getting the results from Byron Katie's 'Work,' it could mean it's time to move on. Whether to a new method or counseling, only you can decide.
Whatever the case, I know you are enough. Shouldn't you?
The Master of Beginnings, inviting discussion, joy, healing and every shade of grey the Multiverse has to offer!
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