Wait, giving is giving, right? Not exactly. Giving with a motive (as pointed out in The Good Place) is fundamentally selfish. But setting aside that kind of self-serving "kindness," even good intentions can be delivered in less than ideal ways.
In the Valentine's episode (volume 3 in the manga, season 1 in the anime), Tohru and Kagura both try to give chocolates to the same boy. One is so successful she ends up opening the boy to receive both gifts.
I love this girl, because in my heart that's totally me. She loves so passionately, it hurts. Fierce and loyal, Kagura puts so much energy and effort into her Valentine's chocolate for her one-and-only obsession: Kyo. Spoiler alert (highlight to read): she's not actually in love with him, so it's a little selfish, but she's not really aware of that at this point - and only has character growth in the manga anyway.
Yet her methods, despite meaning well, don't turn out well. Kyo just doesn't want to receive.
Tohru really digs into the spirit of giving, preparing a bunch of Valentine's chocolates for every Sohma she's met so far, as well as her two best friends. Kyo turns her chocolate down, too, saying he doesn't like sweets. It would seem he just didn't want to receive at all.
Instead of blaming Kyo for not being receptive, Tohru analyzes her own assumptions. She could have asked if everyone even liked chocolate before determining what she gave them. Perhaps she could have been more sensitive to the preferences of others, and made the gifts more diverse, specialized for each individual.
Two conclusions can be drawn from this: first, that putting thought into gifts based on the receiver can make for a better giving experience. And second, that simply the act of realizing the mistake could have the effect of changing someone's mind.
No, that's not really all that's going on in that scene (and there never is in real life, either), but it's an element that can carry over to many situations. Remember who your gift is for, and if they don't want to receive maybe it's the gift itself.
The Master of Beginnings, inviting discussion, joy, healing and every shade of grey the Multiverse has to offer!
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