Between chemical attraction and mundane encounters, there's a good chance you've met at least one soulmate in your life already. Who were they, and how can you be more alert the next time around?
How It Differs
Your heart flutters, that familiar rush of hormones coursing through your veins. You've definitely got an attraction to this person, but is it love? Is that a soulmate?
Most meetings are fraught with nerves, worry, expectation and fantasy. You know the drill: you hide your crazy, and slowly but methodically reveal it to judge their reaction. As the weeks and months go by, the comfort level slowly increases and you start to see their flaws, too, hopefully at the same rate you're showing yours. Ideally, the two of you get to a state of harmony in accepting each other as they are, for better or worse.
That's not a soulmate. That process is for normal, everyday relationships. While they are satisfying in their own right, those unions are carefully crafted partnerships that develop into 'created soulmates.' If things go well, it's possible in another life (assuming you reincarnate), the two of you may be the predestined kind of soulmates. However, that's for another life, not this one.
Soulmates operate to a slightly different tune than the rest of the world.
Difference #1: Timing
There is none of this "methodical reveal" to be had with soulmates. You might plan to, and it might seem to work for a time, but no matter what you do it won't last long. Soulmates have already done the 'getting to know you' dance before, and things progress much quicker than you'd expect. You may not even realize how fast until you sit and think about it. You can't help it, and neither can they.
This is because there's an immediate and unexplainable comfort between you that makes two weeks feel like two months, two months like two years and two years feel like two days. The comfort doesn't increase, it just seems to have always been there the entire time.
Even when things go wrong, that comfort is still there. It's a very odd feeling, indeed, and is quite painful. It's a sense of knowing and familiarity that goes beyond the confines of your mind.
Difference #2: The Pull
This is especially noticeable with twin flames, but even soulmates have it to a lesser degree. There's a sort of... compulsion. An urge that outlasts the maximum three years of hormonal "love" scientists claim. You'd probably notice it in friendships as a desire to talk to them, hang out, or see what they're up to. There's an invisible something drawing you to them without fail.
Mind you, this feeling can also be simulated in abuse situations. Be aware this pull is very different from that. The biggest difference is how comfortable and laid-back the feeling is. There's no urge to apologize for not contacting them sooner, or a need to make statements about doing better in the future. Because you both know how it works. That's just how it is, and you're both ok with that.
Difference #3: Yin and Yang
They probably don't hold the same values or beliefs you do, and yet there's still a sort of balance and harmony to the relationship. Granted, it's not a static one - sometimes waves will be had. But you'll figure it out, because that pull will nag at you until you do.
I've got this awesome friend from high school. He and I have had many fall-outs. Yet as different as we are, there's a connection no argument can fully break.
In my experience, the longer-lasting soulmates are friends. Because you can take breaks and return, knowing there may be a day when that stops. And that's ok. You just enjoy the time you have together, and acknowledge the lessons will likely be painful at times. Friendship breaks are usually a necessity for both parties anyway!
With twin flames, however, these signs might be obscured by complexity. The sense of comfort may be poisoned by a complicated and heartbreaking past - so think back to the very beginning. The balance may be incredibly wobbly, much like being ON a pendulum, instead of watching it from afar. The mirror effect may be too strong to overlook their flaws; especially if they're your flaws, too. A lot more goes into a twin flame union than with typical soulmates, with no more real gain - but it's not about gaining more. The compulsion for twin flames to reunite is its own motivational drive.
If you suspect you may be one of the rare few to have a twin flame, check out this article.
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