The idea of a soulmate being a bit like spiritual homework really dulls the romance of it all, doesn't it? But trust me - it's anything but boring. It might be a bit mundane, though, and easy to miss if you're not paying attention.
Missing The Memo
Don't you wish you'd get handed a notice when you've found a soulmate, and it would tell you who they were, how long you'd be together, and what kind of spiritual lesson you'd learn in the process? I don't. Mostly because Black Mirror already showed how awful that would be, and it would seem too restrictive to me.
At the same time, I empathize with the wish. It's something you want-but-don't-really. Sometimes it seems life would be so much easier if we could see things coming, right? But then it wouldn't go the same way. And that's often a good thing, that some events and circumstances catch you off guard.
That doesn't mean you can't use a little detective work and discover if you've had some soulmates at work in your life. Let's examine your memories to find the kind of growth you may have experienced from soulmates in the past.
What Kind Of Growth?
The typical soulmate leaves their mark on your heart. It doesn't have to be traumatic, but sometimes it is. I had one soulmate that psychologically abused me, leaving his mark as PTSD and anxiety. As I've said before, soulmates aren't usually life-mates.
Other, more subtle growths can be an incredible expansion of your perception. When I was younger, I met a man that did just that. He refused to take it to a romantic or sexual level, but left his mark on my awareness in many ways. In fact, he introduced me to Chaos Magic, which I can point to as the embryonic beginnings of this website!
Look back at your past and analyze who opened your eyes to truths about yourself or the world you had never known before. Exclude all the teachers that knew that was what they were doing, or people that seemed to place themselves as a teacher of sorts in your life. Soulmates help you learn a spiritual lesson, but they aren't actually teachers. The way they 'teach' is by connecting to your soul and expanding its experiences.
You'll probably find moments of "firsts," but they aren't always soul connections, either. I don't think the guy that first chased me around a room with a gun (safety on, but still!) was a soulmate. Or even the friend that took me to my first shooting range, for that matter. It didn't expand my soul, though it may have expanded my life's experiences.
Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love, puts it simply, "A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too Painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave."
The most obvious spiritual growth will come from the rare twin flames. Their very nature is one of extreme opposition and magnetism, which means they will stretch each other spiritually to very painful degrees. Though all soulmates do this, twin flames will take that to the absolute limit.
If you suspect you may be one of the rare few to have a twin flame, check out this article.
What are your thoughts on soulmates? Comment below, on Facebook, Twitter or Patreon!
These are posts from previous directions of Metaphysiology. Old blog posts and pages that don't fit the current theme can still be found here.
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